Why Motivation Fails and Familiar Patterns Win

Announcer:
Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Millionaire Dentist Podcast, brought to you by Four Quadrants Advisory. On this podcast, we break down the world of dentistry finances and business practices to help you become the millionaire dentist you deserve to be. Please be advised we do speak with an honest tongue, and may not be safe for work.

Casey Hiers:
Hello and welcome. This is Casey Hiers back at the Millionaire Dentist Podcast in studio with a very sharp-dressed man, Jarrod Bridgeman.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
Thank you. I like the part where you added man to that. That's always a nice feeling. Growing up, just appearing more and more as an adult, but that whole thing you just said to me made me want to talk about my feelings and emotions, and I wanted to dive into it today and just really get with you because you're also emotionally tuned, kind of a fella.

Casey Hiers:
Are you shitting me? This is a psychology ... Is there a couch?

Jarrod Bridgeman:
I don't have a couch in my office. Unfortunately, the bosses said I would probably take too many naps. But you're out there traveling a lot, you and your team, and you're speaking to practice owners and associates and all kinds of people at our really awesome CE events that we host. And I wanted to get your take on some of the emotions that you see after the event's over. We've talked before on why people should join, what kind of feelings people may have prior to the event or even during the event, but what happens after the event? There's people that are going to be hot to talk, people may not want to talk. Let's talk about that.

Casey Hiers:
Yeah, there's typically, let's just dumb it down, two reactions. One, excitement because maybe there's a better way. Obviously, spending the evening talking about the business challenges and ownership challenges, and dentistry's a beautiful thing, but there are challenges. So some are encouraged that, hey, this might be worth some investigating. Some get off because they've gotten so used to pushing those feelings down in the pit of their stomach. They don't like talking about what's bad. Doesn't make them feel good. So you'll see some frustration, and then you just see almost these people that look like they've seen a ghost and are not sure what to do. Because what we've been told many times and what we shared is, how did you know? It's as if you've looked at my financials, my tax returns, and my overhead.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
Now, Casey, you're not by any means a medium or a psychic, right?

Casey Hiers:
Correct.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
Okay. So you don't really have an in, you're not speaking to their grandfather from beyond the grave to kind of find this stuff out?

Casey Hiers:
Yeah. Spoiler alert, 22, 23 years of the firm doing this, we've gotten pretty good at it. And I can use the gift of gab to try to express that over a period of time. Oh, there is a third group at the event. They'll stay after and hammer the bourbon, maybe that's left over, because they have so many of the emotions that they want to null and dull them.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
And maybe they still have a babysitter for the kids. So they're excited to have them.

Casey Hiers:
Oh, a lot of people say that, "This is our night out. Let's go."

Jarrod Bridgeman:
So let's start with the group, the first group of people that are encouraged or excited to maybe start on that path, and maybe try to book a phone call with us to kind of start that process. Does that emotion, that high emotion that they get, stay?

Casey Hiers:
Yeah, good question. It's pretty simple. The ones that kind of get it and hear the credibility and expertise in what we present. They want to talk. They provide a date and time at some point.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
They usually stick to that date and time.

Casey Hiers:
Yeah, yeah. They fill out a five-minute questionnaire that adds structure so we can be very efficient, and they have a lot of questions. They've been burned in the past by practice management or consulting they paid a lot of money for, nothing came from. And so they are eager to learn and investigate, what is this? And so that emotional response is great, but ultimately there has to be follow-through.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
Right. And so let's look at that. Let's call it a subgroup. You have the people that were initially excited, encouraged to do the call. Two or three days later, we're getting ghosted. What causes that sometimes? I know this is still feelings and guts and emotional stuff, but what kind of feeling causes people to maybe initially be thrilled and slowly cold feet kind of a thing?

Casey Hiers:
Well, Jarrod, let me ask you a question. Do you have any New Year's resolutions?

Jarrod Bridgeman:
Oh boy, a lot. I usually lose weight, make my face look better. Try to hug my children once in a while.

Casey Hiers:
I'm really glad we don't have a couch in here that I have to dive into any of that psychology. But here's an analogy, right? New Year's Eve resolutions, maybe share them with somebody, maybe write them down. There's an emotional, you get some excitement. And then after a period of time, sometimes a month, sometimes a quarter, often the emotional catalyst has diminished, regular patterns set in, and then the improvements don't occur, and then shame ultimately comes in because you didn't follow through once you wanted to because the emotional thing stopped.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
And how much of that shame plays into the thing you said you were going to stop doing?

Casey Hiers:
Well, it's like shame and then being vulnerable. So the topics we talk about, there's really no shame. It's about looking forward and seeing what's possible, but people do feel vulnerable and their patterns, it's easier to go back into your pattern, which is what ... I am a dentist, I'm a practice owner, I solve people's mouth problems, I lead my staff, I support my family, and it's easier to get into that pattern of life than confront sometimes. What'd you say? Your face and your weight, and you're hugging your children.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
Yeah. Those are all hard.

Casey Hiers:
Yeah. Those are great examples that help this topic so much. You're just really on point today, Jarrod. Thank you.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
You're welcome. But no, I agree with you because people go to therapy to talk about some of the things that they're feeling shame about and want to be vulnerable about, but even that is a hard thing for a lot of people to do. It's still kind of hard to look upon, or for people of a certain generation, too, to really want to open up and omit things that could be wrong.

Casey Hiers:
It can take months or years to correct it, and it's hard enough to even do something about it. And so all these things we're talking about, it just comes back to, again, a lot of times people do want to improve these areas, but they're unsure, the emotions passes, regular patterns return, and nothing improves. And this cycle is maddening, right? And it's easy for us to see it because we see those people who ... I'll talk to the same people every year for four or five years because they'll get that tax surprise or they can't send their kid to this school because of tuition prices because their overhead stinks and their income stinks, so I'll talk to them and they're like, "All right, I got to get better." But then whatever the next thing is to do to overcome it is uncomfortable.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
Words are meaningless.

Casey Hiers:
And it's easier to just do nothing sometimes.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
Words are meaningless. Change is the thing. It's like when you apologize to somebody, you can say, "I'm sorry," so many times, but if you don't change your behavior, it doesn't really matter.

Casey Hiers:
Well, it's actions and words. And ironically, throughout our process, whomever we're speaking with, there are things that they're going to have to do. We kind of, tongue in cheek, set a time to talk, fill out a questionnaire. Down the road, it's get your spouse involved, provide us documents and data to analyze your situation. Those are all things that they're not hard, but the idea of it sometimes can be really hard.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
Especially, I thinking about the whole spouse thing too, is inviting them into a world that they may not have really been involved in at all. Some spouses don't have a large input into the monetary issues in their household, and some docs might be afraid to admit.

Casey Hiers:
Well, sometimes even irrelevant of gender, but a lot of times, the practice owner they carry the weight of the finances, the practice, all of that. They carry it. They shield their loved ones from it. So the idea of getting a spouse involved to see the underbelly of things-

Jarrod Bridgeman:
All the sores and scars.

Casey Hiers:
It's like, "Yeah, I don't know if I want them to know this." And again, it just comes down to do you truly want to get better? Or sometimes we just confirm, you're not that far off. We looked at your practice; there's no need for us to really do much with you. Here's some complimentary advice that's really going to help you. That's a good outcome too. Some people that have the courage to simply engage in something, the outcome is that. And we've talked about this. We're not a volume shop. So if there's not a path to help you, we'll tell you, but what a nice outcome that is. But if we do identify these areas, the uncomfortableness, get over it. We're talking 10 or 15 points of overhead, we're talking hundreds of thousands of dollars of income every year, we're talking tens of thousands of dollars in retirement savings every year, and we're talking millions and millions of dollars when you go to retire. So it's one of those things. Unfortunately, some people have to hit rock bottom to want to change.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
Casey, not to interrupt you, but I wanted to ask, this was something that was kind of sitting on my mind. You've got the folks that were encouraged to call and maybe cooled off. What if those practice owners cooled off because of their, I would say, maybe anti-cheerleaders? They're surrounded by people who say, "No, I think you're fine." Maybe it's their CPA they currently have, maybe it's their financial planner, or maybe it's even their spouse or their dad who is encouraging you to not take a step.

Casey Hiers:
Yeah. No, it's again, getting back into the patterns. If your pattern is having those cheerleaders, then that makes you feel good. We've talked about this before. It's choose your heart. It's, okay, do you want to have 75% overhead, or do you want to spend three to six hours going through a process over a six-week period that can change your life? And ultimately, people can only answer that for themselves.
But it's been fascinating the conversations I'll have post-event, and then seeing the actions of people.

So we've thought about this and talked about this, and again, it just comes down to timing. People have to be ready themselves to do anything meaningful, personal, or, as a business owner, that's going to change. And ultimately, if somebody's not ready to fix it or get better, nothing's going to happen. And we've got a line wrapped around the block of practice owners that want to talk to us, so I have to be judicious of my time and our team's time and really try to thin out these people. We do not try to talk push and pull people through a process. I'm trying to figure out why this won't work. And if they are kind of in a milquetoast period of their life, or they're just wishy-washy, well then that's okay. We'll talk to you down the road. It's no big deal. But I think the biggest thing is resisting getting back into your patterns of your regular life and just continuing to go to event after event after event and having these emotional responses and half-assed trying something, it doesn't work, you look up and say, "Dentistry is just not what it can be. Dentistry's changed." And it's easier for people to have that mindset than, no, actually, you as the business owner, it's on you, and you're doing yourself, your practice, your staff, everybody a disservice.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
It's going to take a little bit of work, just like anything else.

Casey Hiers:
Yeah. It's going to be a little uncomfortable.
Another thing I was reading recently was people like to feel significant, and bear with me here. I talk to people who will talk about their big practice and their multiple locations and their sports cars, and they love aviation or being nautical and having boats. That makes people feel significant. On the other side, I'll talk to a lot of people that they're like, "We don't spend any money. I drive a 10-year-old car. We don't live ..." It's the same thing. They want to be significant, so they're significant by being the opposite, and having this like, "Well, because of these reasons, I'm significant because I don't spend any money." If you want to be significant, maximize yourself. And it's really a balance of that ego and pride. It's really hard. I can speak from experience. I struggle sometimes with ego and pride, but when I push it down and just try to do the best that I can, that's when the results are better.

Same thing for practice owners. And again, our process isn't tough, but it's fascinating how many times people are like, "Well, if something doesn't get better, I'm going to have to close the doors and start over as an associate." But they can't do a basic task to actually dive into figure out the answer. Some people don't want the answer. They'd just rather just sit in it because that's their identity. They're a martyr. It's the cross they bear. Unfortunately, I've met those people, and there's nothing we can do. There's really nothing anybody can do. It comes down to, are you ready to get better, or do you just want to go back into the patterns you're in?

Jarrod Bridgeman:
I mean, that first call is not hard. The initial call that we kind of do with folks. It's a questionnaire, it's not-

Casey Hiers:
It's not easy. It's not hard. It's efficient.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
Yeah.

Casey Hiers:
Again, we're trying to learn as much as possible, and if we can help them, help them as soon as possible, and if we cannot identify that, as soon as possible. It's efficient. But we can't want something more than somebody else does. I've talked to people with 85% overhead, and I hear they are so nice and they've got maybe a special needs child and they've got all this stuff going on in their life, and they're nice, and we want to help them. But if they don't want to help themselves and they'd rather kind of sit in it, then we have to identify that, and ultimately, we move on.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
Casey, so we're talking about the post-event things and the emotions and why people would want to call, and why maybe they fell off from wanting to call. But you have to come to the event, right? For those folks who want to learn more and hear Casey speak-

Casey Hiers:
If you want some bourbon and an emotional reaction, and to learn something, and see some friends and colleagues and whatever-

Jarrod Bridgeman:
And maybe you get a nice steak, and that's a good emotion too.

Casey Hiers:
Yeah, you'll get that. What you do with it is up to you, but we provide opportunity.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
Take that first step and take a bite.

Now listen, folks, we're going to be in Dublin, Ohio. We're going to be in Cincy, we're going to be in Carmel, Indiana, we're going to be in Orlando, Florida, we're coming to Michigan. We're going to be all these places. But as Casey was kind of saying, you have to take the first step. You have to want to make change, and you may not even know if you want to make change yet, but you can learn that in this course, right?

Casey Hiers:
If you say so.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
If we say so. Casey, let me ask you, out of all the upcoming events, is there anywhere exciting you're looking forward to going?

Casey Hiers:
It's interesting. When I started traveling early, I would get excited about the city, the venue, and what all I'm going to see. Now it really is ... I can be in Omaha, or I can be in Naples or Scottsdale, I'm just excited about being in a room with practice owners. Because it's a fun night, but ultimately, who can we maybe help? We might help one person in the room. Ultimately, when all is said and done, but who here can we help? Because, as you know and I know, it's significant and it is life change. So no, not really.

It's more so like, I hope we can help somebody tonight. Hope we get through to somebody, even if we never talk to them. I hope that they take a stand and say, "I cannot continue to be a business owner and run things like this. Something's got to change." That's a win, and it might not be change with us. It might be changed in other areas, and that's fine. But that's exciting. Yeah, long answer to your question-

Jarrod Bridgeman:
I like that answer. Gosh, that's a good one. I was going to say something way worse.
Casey, thank you so much for stopping by. Folks, again, go to fourquadrantsadvisory.com/events and check us out. We're going to be launching some new events coming very, very soon for late July and August. And so other than that, if you're interested in booking a phone call, you can always fill out a form on our website. You can see pictures of me and Casey and how handsome we can be at times when we're dolled up. Casey, thanks for stopping by, and I hope I can squeeze you in again sometime soon.

Casey Hiers:
Start hugging your kids again.

Jarrod Bridgeman:
Thank you.

Announcer:
That's all the time we have today. Thank you to our guests for their insight and for sharing some really great information, and thank you to you, the listener, for tuning in. The Millionaire Dentist Podcast is brought to you by Four Quadrants Advisory. To see if they might be a good fit for you and your practice, go on over to fourquadrantsadvisory.com and see why, year after year, they retain over 95% of their clients. Thank you again for joining us, and we'll see you next time.